Back
Relationships are made of many things. Your special bond with your girlfriend gives you the chance to create memories that you will keep forever. To laugh together. And to simply take time to enjoy each other’s company.
Of course, there are also harder times. Some disagreements that turn into fights. Moments of jealousy, and all the friction that usually comes when two people try to get to know each other.
Ups and downs. Laughter and tears. It’s all part of a normal relationship.
Besides, conflict does not always mean that your relationship is in trouble. You can always talk things out and discuss ways to solve your relationship issues.
But that cannot happen if your girlfriend won’t talk to you.
When your girlfriend is ignoring you, no communication is possible. Without even talking, you cannot even begin to fix things.
That is why the first thing to do after a fight is to get a dialogue going again.
But to do that, you also need to understand the reasons why your girlfriend is ignoring you.
If there is no obvious reason why your girlfriend ignores you, you are bound to have a few questions.
Like, for example: “What did I do? Did I do something wrong?”
To help you narrow down the possible reasons she is not talking to you, here are some potential explanations for her behavior – putting aside, of course, the obvious times when your girlfriend is mad at you or when things have not been going well between you two.
It may seem counterintuitive, but sometimes your girlfriend ignores you precisely because she wants you to notice her.
Think about it: if she has tried talking, texting, calling, screaming even, and that nothing worked, what else is there to do?
If your girlfriend is ignoring you, it might actually be her last attempt at getting your attention.
Some people, when go through hard times, will naturally seek help and advice from their loved ones.
Others prefer shutting down and turning inward.
Maybe your girlfriend prefers dealing with her problems on her own. Or she does not feel close enough to you yet to share everything that bothers her, no matter how small or big. Everybody handles stress in their own way.
Either way, your role would be to remain supportive and not take things personally.
Perhaps she just received a job offer or a big opportunity, and is debating whether it would be worth putting her relationship in jeopardy for it.
Or maybe she feels the relationship is moving too fast and just needs to take a beat to process it.
Your girlfriend is avoiding you not because she wants space, but because she realizes that she really cares about you.
Rejecting the job offer, or introducing friends and family would signal a strong commitment. If you have not yet talked seriously about where things are going, she might be taking a bit of time to evaluate how to go about the situation.
No, don’t start panicking yet. Just because your girlfriend is reconsidering your relationship does not mean that it is over.
Maybe she really likes you, but just needs some space for now.
Sure, she might come out of her reflections thinking she wants to break up with you. But that is not a guarantee either. Missing you could also reinforce her feelings for you.
Though this may be the worst scenario, it is still pretty common.
Breaking up is not always a clear-cut process. Sometimes people are not brave enough for that. And sometimes your girlfriend just wants to keep you around, just in case she changes her mind later on.
But the truth of the matter is that if she has realized her feelings are gone, or if she is interested in another guy, she might not tell you right away.
Getting ghosted like that is scary, because your relationship could be over and you are the last one to know.
You might find list of reasons why she is ignoring you helpful. Maybe it helped you narrow down why she suddenly acts distant towards you.
And maybe everything still seems unclear. Her behavior remains a mystery.
You might be forgiven for believing that you absolutely need to get to the bottom of things. To understand why your girlfriend is not talking to you before knowing how to get her back.
In reality, it does not matter.
Whether you understand why she is avoiding you or not, your response should be more or less the same.
Here are some things you could do in response to your girlfriend ignoring you, in five simple steps:
The tricky part about the situation is that it is most likely her decision. You had no say in her going no contact with you. In fact, you most likely disagree with the way things are.
Let her know that.
It is often pointless to keep asking her to chat, or text her constantly about meeting up. You could try asking her why she is ignoring you, but you probably won’t have much luck either. In fact, she might very well distance herself even more if you signal that you are “needy” or “pushy”.
That is the opposite of what you want. You want her to chase you, not to be running away from you.
On the other hand, keeping a stiff upper lip and showing that you accept the situation – even if you are, in fact, rattled – will only reinforce your frame.
Just because you accept that your girlfriend stopped talking does not mean that you have to agree to it.
In fact, this step will lay the groundwork for everything else: the fact that it is on her to reconnect with you, the possibility of a future relationship with your girlfriend, and the nature of that relationship.
But it does not mean that you have to get into a long-winded argument and start pointing fingers at your girlfriend.
All you have to do for this step to be effective is to tell her two things:
A simple message like that conveys that you are willing to at least reconnect and have some form of relationship with her. While it is clear that the break is not something you are happy with, it also assigns no blame to your girlfriend. That shows some maturity on your part.
This might very well be the hardest step.
Not contacting your girlfriend means that you will feel powerless. At least when you pick up your phone to call her, you are somewhat in control. You are deciding to get in touch, to force her to stop ignoring you.
In reality, it changes nothing.
In all scenarios, you would never be in charge of the future of the relationship. That has already been decided when your girlfriend decided to go radio silent on you.
In fact, by choosing to go no contact yourself, you are taking back some of that control. You are still not communicating with your girlfriend, but this time it is just as much your decision as it is hers.
On top of that, by acting this way, you are clearly leaving the ball in her court. If your girlfriend wants to talk to you, she will have to make the first move.
All that is left to do for you is to use that extra time to focus on step number 4…
You may have been so worried about your girlfriend ignoring you that you forgot to be kind to yourself.
Up until now, your mental and physical energy was spent finding ways to get back your ex-girlfriend. And that is okay.
But now, you need to make a clear commitment to taking care of yourself.
The good news is that there are many ways you can do that.
You could try some of the things you always wanted to do but did not because your girlfriend was not really into them.
Or you could try your hand at a few hobbies and new activities and see what you enjoy. Not only will that provide a welcome distraction from thinking about your relationship all the time, it could also be a great way to meet new people and make new friends.
And of course, throughout all that, you should spend some time with your loved ones. Call a friend you have not seen in a while, and just relax around people who care about you. That will do wonders for your well-being.
In spite of appearances, you still have a say in this relationship.
Sure, your girlfriend is ignoring you, so you are forced to react to her decisions. It also could very well be the opposite of what you want.
But it does not mean that you are completely powerless.
First of all, by enjoying your life, meeting new people, and generally being the best version of yourself, you are going to feel three things:
What this means is that if you start to feel tired of waiting for a sign from your girlfriend, you are free to leave her.
If your girlfriend wants to come back into your life, you are also free to accept it, or to put an end to the relationship. You are allowed to change your mind about being her boyfriend, and if you decide the cost is too high (for your mental health, for your happiness, etc.), then there is nothing wrong with moving on.
And finally, if you meet someone new and are interested in pursuing things further, you are also free to do so. Just make sure that everything is clear, both with your girlfriend – now, ex-girlfriend - and the new person you choose to date.
Like the title of this section says, you are in the driver’s seat. You are in control not only of your relationship, but of your life.
Make sure it is as fun, fulfilling, and enriching as possible. Do it for yourself.
You are worth it.
August 25, 2020
Few things seem as intimidating as talking to a girl you just met. Even more so when you are romantically interested in this new girl. While having a chat might seem easy enough on the surface, you want it to build up to something meaningful while making the right impression. Finding an appropriate mix of confidence, in...Lire la suite
October 13, 2021
As is the case for most life experiences, relationships have high points and difficult times. We would all love it if everything was sunshine and rainbows, but sometimes the waters do get stormy. And when your boat gets rocked a little too much, a breakup in communication can feel inevitable. But just because you had a ...Lire la suite
October 13, 2021
Ideally, we would all fall madly in love with the first person we date. In return, that person would love us just as much as we love them. And that would be it, basically, for our dating life. Your happy ever after. But if you have been dating for any length of time, you know this is rarely the case. Sure, some lu...Lire la suite
July 1, 2020
Online dating has opened a myriad of opportunities, whether you are looking for romance or friendship. Every day, millions of people log into their favorite dating website and look for people to connect with. All from the comfort and anonymity provided by their phone or computer screen. But some people take advanta...Lire la suite
April 19, 2023
Abandonment issues are really one of those things that can derail even the most promising relationships. They usually show up early on, and almost always have a harmful impact on your dating life. If you have ever felt insecure in a relationship, afraid that someone was going to leave you, or like you might not be...Lire la suite
September 13, 2022
Relationships do not always have to be linear: first date, second date, dating, moving in together… Sometimes life has other plans for you. You might be too busy for a relationship. Or your boyfriend moved to another city and you find long-distance relationships too hard. Short breaks from romantic relationships ...Lire la suite
September 12, 2022
So, you’ve got a great girl in your life? Congratulations! Being in love can be one of the best feelings in the world. If you are like most guys, you probably want to do all you can to make this girl feel loved and special. To show her how much she means to you, each and every day. Which quickly brings an importan...Lire la suite
May 31, 2022
Look at any relationship between two people, and you would be hard pressed to find one that has not had any rougher patches. Even couples who look perfect on the surface have most likely had struggles, experienced ups and downs. That is simply how life is between humans. And that is why you don’t think about br...Lire la suite
May 18, 2022
Relationships and romantic feelings often bring out some pretty intense behaviors. Off the top of your head, you might already be associating budding romances with wanting to text your boyfriend as soon as you wake up, thinking about him all the time at work or at school, and jumping at every opportunity to hang out wit...Lire la suite
March 16, 2022
You may not really be happy to discover that your girlfriend needs a break. No guy is ever ready for that, really. So, if that is happening to you, just know that the unpleasant feelings you are experiencing are normal. First of all, you should know that this is a common situation – albeit not a fun one –...Lire la suite
February 23, 2022
When your ex comes back into your life long after your separation, you might feel a few ways about it: You might be intrigued, especially if you had little to no way to know what they have been up to. Curiosity is human. You could get mad. How dare he feel so entitled to your time and attention that he thinks he can ju...Lire la suite
February 16, 2022
One of the hardest things about breaking up with someone is the relationships you leave behind in the process. Because yes, you lose more than one: There is the relationship you had with your ex, of course, Then there are also all the mutual friends and their side of the family, with whom you often lose touch, An...Lire la suite
February 2, 2022
Is there anything more frustrating than being ignored by your girlfriend and not knowing how to talk to her, or even why she is not talking to you? If there is, it must be something really, really frustrating indeed. Yet, it happens all the time. Even in relationships that seem to be going well. Just because your ...Lire la suite
January 20, 2022
Ah, relationships! Like them or not, they often make us go through all sorts of emotions. Sometimes we are not even in control of them. Where you used to be a completely rational and even-keeled individual, you now become a bit of a mess. So to speak. Emotions can sometimes prevail over your more logical and composed...Lire la suite