Back
Just last month, we started hearing of whole countries going on lockdown and entire cities recommending self-isolation measures. Since then, it has become clear that our lives were going to change in major ways. Activities based on human interaction have gone through massive changes. Romance being no exception, our courtship has moved to virtual dating.
Admittedly, this does not change much for couples who were already in a long-distance relationship.
For the rest of us, social distancing has greatly impacted our dating lives. Our need for connection remains strong, but how do we set up a first date if all cafés are closed? How do we go and meet people when bars won’t reopen this month? And how can we connect with our new flame when we can’t go out for lunch?
The answer is that we need to adapt and transform our dating habits. As with most things, during disruptive changes. But it doesn’t mean we need to stop completely. So, if you want to keep dating during this era of social distancing, here are some answers to questions you might have.
Social gatherings might be off the books, but there is a whole world of people still looking to connect. They moved from dinner parties and spring festivals to dating websites like this one, right here.
Sure, there may be physical distance between you and them. But you can still easily reach out to them via message, chat, texts, and video calls.
Online dating gives you access to thousands of interesting and exciting people. People worth knowing. And you can do that from the comfort of your house.
Just like two months ago, taking some time to message back and forth with your romantic interest is a good idea. It acts as a quick filter to look for major deal breakers, but also enables you to test your potential date’s sense of humor or cultural references.
Plus, since we are all going through these strange times together, your opening topic and icebreaker should come easily.
Get good at moving on to other topics, though. Talks of pandemic and economic downturns can be stressful and don’t make for amazing romance material.
Your ace in the hole here is that you have time on your side, so to speak. Since you won’t be meeting each other anytime soon, virtual dating allows you to get into deeper conversations. You are not going to get bogged down in the logistics of setting up your first date and can use the extra time to really get to know each other.
By taking your attention off your first meeting, you can focus on having deeper, more meaningful conversations. Slowing down is proven to create deeper bonds in the future and even more stable marriages down the line.
Absolutely. Just like you used to before. Once you develop a strong mutual interest with someone else, you might want to go on a date.
The only difference here is that it will be virtual.
Video chats are a great first step. By allowing you to peek into someone’s apartment, they can actually feel very intimate. But without the distractions of, say, being in a restaurant or doing something during your date, you will need to work on your conversation skills.
So, during your video calls, you could have a drink (or three) together. Or play a game. Another idea is to cook together, or order food and eat in front of your favorite TV shows. Can you teach them how to cook your favorite recipe? Or take virtual tours of each other’s apartments, visit a museum online, do quizzes together, do some crafts… even a dance-off, if you’re into that.
Time to showcase your personality and what you are like!
Physical contact is hard to replace. Yet guidelines are clear: for now, you are your best intimate partner.
Meeting in person would defeat the purpose of self-isolating.
Yet with all this talking and bonding, you risk finding yourself in a rapport that feels more like a friendship than a romantic relationship. It is only natural that you would wish to push things further.
Video calls can provide, at least, a visual connection. Make sure, as always, that you are both consenting and comfortable with it, and that there is a high level of trust in your relationship.
Another option is to space out contact a little, to allow yourselves to miss each other. You can also develop a code, with special shows of affection and even connivances.
Conversations ebb and flow naturally. You don’t need to re-evaluate everything you have built just because you ran out of things to say.
People in long-distance relationships will tell you: It’s okay to contact your partner just to check in. To see how they are doing and ask them if everything is okay with them. With no ulterior motive. It’s about talking without the need to sound smart or the pressure to be funny.
Because being in touch, simply and naturally, is the basis of relationships.
The toughest part about the current situation is that we are not sure when the restrictions will be lifted. But they will be.
Dating might take a while to get back to what it used to be – if it ever does. So, virtual dating is filling the gap in the meantime.
If you find the love of your life during this quarantine, this waiting period will only build more anticipation and excitement. Plus, it will allow you to get to know them. Really know them.
Meeting people online is a great way to break isolation and loneliness. To learn about our resilience in the face of changing times. To reflect on our values and the value of our bonds with others. And to work on ourselves.
So, even if the first real hug with your romantic interest fails to give you butterflies in the stomach, even if the person you meet in real life is not as interesting as the person you interacted with online, YES, it will be worth the wait.
April 3, 2021
Weight loss is a multi-multibillion dollar industry. And it is hard to go more than a few days without being reminded that “slimmer is better”. You, yourself, might also be attracted to slimmer women. This weight-loss message does not only come from the beauty industry, but also from public health organizations...Lire la suite
July 12, 2021
Imagine if you had to draw up a general list of signs a girl is interested in you. Off the top of your head, you could probably write down quite a few. Like when a girl keeps texting you, or if she seems to take every opportunity to talk to you. You know, of course, that it also depends on the topic of her conversa...Lire la suite
April 19, 2023
Abandonment issues are really one of those things that can derail even the most promising relationships. They usually show up early on, and almost always have a harmful impact on your dating life. If you have ever felt insecure in a relationship, afraid that someone was going to leave you, or like you might not be...Lire la suite
December 6, 2020
Let’s get one thing straight. While the coolest man in the world does exist, he won’t always be the same person for everyone. What makes someone cool will vary depending on who you ask. So, while you might admire traits such as artistic skills and accomplishments, your neighbor might put a bigger emphasis...Lire la suite
April 19, 2023
Abandonment issues are really one of those things that can derail even the most promising relationships. They usually show up early on, and almost always have a harmful impact on your dating life. If you have ever felt insecure in a relationship, afraid that someone was going to leave you, or like you might not be...Lire la suite
September 13, 2022
Relationships do not always have to be linear: first date, second date, dating, moving in together… Sometimes life has other plans for you. You might be too busy for a relationship. Or your boyfriend moved to another city and you find long-distance relationships too hard. Short breaks from romantic relationships ...Lire la suite
September 12, 2022
So, you’ve got a great girl in your life? Congratulations! Being in love can be one of the best feelings in the world. If you are like most guys, you probably want to do all you can to make this girl feel loved and special. To show her how much she means to you, each and every day. Which quickly brings an importan...Lire la suite
May 31, 2022
Look at any relationship between two people, and you would be hard pressed to find one that has not had any rougher patches. Even couples who look perfect on the surface have most likely had struggles, experienced ups and downs. That is simply how life is between humans. And that is why you don’t think about br...Lire la suite
May 18, 2022
Relationships and romantic feelings often bring out some pretty intense behaviors. Off the top of your head, you might already be associating budding romances with wanting to text your boyfriend as soon as you wake up, thinking about him all the time at work or at school, and jumping at every opportunity to hang out wit...Lire la suite
March 16, 2022
You may not really be happy to discover that your girlfriend needs a break. No guy is ever ready for that, really. So, if that is happening to you, just know that the unpleasant feelings you are experiencing are normal. First of all, you should know that this is a common situation – albeit not a fun one –...Lire la suite
February 23, 2022
When your ex comes back into your life long after your separation, you might feel a few ways about it: You might be intrigued, especially if you had little to no way to know what they have been up to. Curiosity is human. You could get mad. How dare he feel so entitled to your time and attention that he thinks he can ju...Lire la suite
February 16, 2022
One of the hardest things about breaking up with someone is the relationships you leave behind in the process. Because yes, you lose more than one: There is the relationship you had with your ex, of course, Then there are also all the mutual friends and their side of the family, with whom you often lose touch, An...Lire la suite
February 2, 2022
Is there anything more frustrating than being ignored by your girlfriend and not knowing how to talk to her, or even why she is not talking to you? If there is, it must be something really, really frustrating indeed. Yet, it happens all the time. Even in relationships that seem to be going well. Just because your ...Lire la suite
January 20, 2022
Ah, relationships! Like them or not, they often make us go through all sorts of emotions. Sometimes we are not even in control of them. Where you used to be a completely rational and even-keeled individual, you now become a bit of a mess. So to speak. Emotions can sometimes prevail over your more logical and composed...Lire la suite